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    11/23/2006

    薄暮之光

        "发配公文”一直还没有下来,每天都是看片子看到天亮。一直都很喜欢在很深很静的夜里,独自一个人盯着荧屏呈现的影象,渐渐犯困然后睡去。醒来,赖床,下午起来,又是一个没有阳光的日子,我都懒得动弹了,整个人都被天空灰蒙蒙的色调笼罩着,哪怕只想扒开这层灰暗色调的力气都没有啦。奋力爬到电脑旁,点燃一支烟,在缓缓升起渐渐散开的烟雾里,你是找不到明天这个名词的。烟灰缸里的烟嘴头横七竖八的躺着,就象冲锋陷阵的烈士战死在前线的恢弘场面之后,剩下的只是寥寥烟雾、尸体和死寂。我又狠狠的插上了一根,以证明我还有力气将它送上前线并且战死沙场。那些躺着的烟头在我还没有把它们倒进垃圾桶之前还有一个上天赋予的使命,那便是我的生命记录,就象博尔赫斯小说里那个杀手在杀死一个人后会在自己的武器上刻下一条线一样,那些横七竖八的烟头是记录着我生命中某一时刻的存在意义。如果你要向我提出一个关于“存在”的疑问,那么这些烟头们作为见证者便有了它们的意义。
     
    昨天去买碟子,2元一张的价格让那狭小的地下通道变成了人潮涌动的超级市场,一下陷入这次抢购活动使我无法自拔。当时就一个想法,把所有我以前蠢蠢欲动而未付诸行动的电影全部扛回家,我想我会从梦中笑醒的。
    谢谢夜郎传给我的世界音乐,很动听。
    最近在读《我的名字叫红》。

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